Forever Changed

I learned many things while in Guatemala. This trip sobered me into remembering how difficult medical missions can be. One of my personal biggest hurdles is the language barrier. I took a total of 4 years of Spanish in high school and I was able to make small talk just fine with the young kids when playing at Dori's promise, but I did not learn ANY medical Spanish in high school. During my trip to Brazil we had multiple interpreters as nurses so I did not feel as much of the language barrier when it came to nursing and assessment. In Guatemala I felt like I could do very little for my assessment before I had to send them to my Spanish speaking friend who was a nurse. I am extremely grateful for Elaine who was able to combine her nursing skills and fluent Spanish to make a tremendous impact on the kids we saw. So I walked away from this aspect of the trip with a clearer idea of how to pray for my future....

I am now praying for God to lay a specific country or language on my heart for where He would have me serve. I realize that if I am going to take medical missions seriously that I need to strongly consider learning another language or go to a place that speaks English or that I will have access to medical interpreters. With that said, learning another language really honestly terrifies me. Learning another language was a weak point in my past academics so I can already hear satan whispering lies that say to give up now because it will be too hard. Satan convinces me that I should avoid my weaknesses because there is no way to overcome my weaknesses. But I know in my head that God promises the exact opposite: in my weakness God shows His strength. I'll just put out a disclaimer right here, right now: if in the next few years I learn another language it is not on my own ability or strength so God be given the glory! Literally, learning another language really scares me. I will be praying a lot over the next year and few months for direction in this area of my life.

Another lesson that God laid on my heart over this past week was related to working with orphans. I actually thought that I already had a heart for orphans before this trip. I have felt a strong desire to adopt and I support orphans financially through different organizations. I had heard women in my church talk about trips that they had been on where they worked with orphans and they were broken by these children's reality. To be honest, I struggled to understand how another lady at my church could go to Dori's Promise and meet a child, for the first time, and feel an instant and undeniable desire to parent one of the orphans. She felt the same love for that orphan as her own flesh and blood and she hardly even met this little orphan. How could this be?... After this week I understood. I realized that this week was the first time that I have physically spent time with orphans in another country who where placed in an orphanage indefinitely. Although I do not have my own biological child I felt a spiritual love for 2 of the little boys that I can honestly say I have never felt before and it is hard to describe in words. I sincerely did not expect some spiritual movement by working with the orphans but I now understand what it means to experience the love of the Holy Spirit moving in and through me. In a new way I felt confirmation for adopting in the future and I feel confidence that God will lead me to love and care for orphans in the future. 

I was also very encouraged to see the work that is being done in Guatemala. Everywhere that we went there was a light in the darkness. Cori is working to change her community through education and skill advancement. The pastor by the dump is feeding the children meals that they would very likely not receive without her help. Light in Paradise is working to break social norms in order to provide a future for the children there. Safe Passage is working to teach entrepreneurship, promoting education and hygiene, and encouraging spiritual restoration. All of these people and women who are pushing for change in their communities encourage me! It inspires me to support them and to be open to the same kind of dramatic change and light in such darkness.