I'll tell you what...God is so good. The sermon this weekend at Lifehouse Church by Pastor Patrick about Deborah the judge spoke directly to my fears and insecurities about going to Togo. "God chooses the most unlikely people to do the most unlikely things." I know my weaknesses and strengths and I can tell you that I am not the most qualified person to go to Togo. I am not brave, I don't know any French, I adore my coworkers, family, and friends, I really appreciate comfort, and I don't really usually like international foods. Even more than those things, I have been listening to the voices of people in my past and my own fears. These words drill deep insecurities into my heart about doing medical missions. I don't have the strongest faith and I'm not the smartest nurse. I have recently felt very underqualified to go to Togo because of these whispers.
BUT
the most awesome thing about serving God is that these things actually qualify me to be used by Him. In my weaknesses He is strong. At the end of this month I can only give God the glory for whatever transpires in Togo. I am chosen by God and I am chosen for His purpose. I can have God-confidence in place of self-confidence because He wants to work in and through my weaknesses. He alone will deepen my faith and understating of His grace and character. He alone will use me and my skills to help heal. He alone will give me the words to speak truth into the lives of others. I don't have to be qualified. I don't have to be anything other than obedient. This reassurance has been like a weight lifted off of my shoulders as I prepare to go to Togo.
I will also add that when following Him scares me, and requires faith, it is probably a God-size dream that He has placed in my heart. This comforts me in knowing that I am going where I am supposed to go. I am going where only He can lead me.
I am evidence that God really does lead us on the wildest and most amazing adventures.
What is your God-sized dream?
Stay tuned for more about Togo!
Here is a link to watch the sermon that I reference...
http://www.lifehousechurch.org/sermons/series/43/